Watching as the once grassy DC outskirts develop into piles of luxury split-level stainless steel condos with nowhere to park has been an eye-opening experience. But not as eye-opening as the following ad, recently received from Westwood Gardens Condominiums (you're not even reading anymore, are you? You're already looked at the ad, haven't you? Stared at it? Squinted? Gotten your fill? Grown tired of it already and I haven't even gotten to the colon? Couldn't even make it through one little paragraph of text before your dastardly mind made the jump to the photo? Interesting. In a completely psychological and sociological way. Don't you think? Wait-- you clicked the thing already, too?! Wow. You're unstoppable. Did you even notice there was text above the photo?):
Ah, okay. I get it. "Full-Bodied Amenities". "Large Units." Very clever.
And as much as I celebrate seeing a chick with actual hips (instead of bone splintering, glare-inducing anorexia of the pelvis) getting studio time, couldn't the ad company have used someone amongst the living? I mean, really. Do you really want your new-fangled condominium to be known as the home of floorspace, ferns, pallor, and the undead?
Hello, and welcome to my condo. This way to the pallor parlor. Walk this way...
And this from someone who wears SPF 45 to the movies.