So I Was Thinking...

• Why does the printer jam and/or run out of ink and/or paper and draw a crowd in the middle of the one page prohibited coupon and not the 175 page work-related document?

• Is there an "Old" Zealand?

• Why is it that doctors will call in scripts for narcotics but adamantly insist upon an office visit in order to distribute cold sore remedies?

• Jim Gaffigan and cake. What's not to love?
  

• Why is it that when you eat a whole pizza people are like "wow, you were hungry" but when you eat a whole cake people are like "wow, you have a problem"? It's breakfast, I can't have cake. I'll have a muffin! Yeah cause you can't have cake for breakfast. Unless it's a pancake. How'd that slide through? Young man, you're not having cake for breakfast, you're having friend batter with syrup for breakfast!
  

• There are two kinds of people in this world; The kind that don't scratch the itch that they're not supposed to and the kind that know that "Dr." stands for "FULL OF SHIT" and stick long and luscious plastic knives down their casts.

• Does "Buttafucco" mean what I suspect it means?

• For years my neighbors have flat out, stone cold ignored me when I say hello in the halls or the streets. Yeah, I'll admit that it burns. Now why is it that in the pool locker room when everyone is naked do they suddenly wish to chat?
  

• I detest most people.

• It was not wise for me to join the building's social committee.

• There is not necessarily any less drama at the other end of the spectrum.

• Why isn't Ari Gold naked more often?

• The rapture and excitement that abounds over an impending vacation can not be contained by a mere fiberglass elbow shackle!
  

The best buzz I've had in ages!