Thursday, May 10

More Things I Have Learned: Broken Elbow Week One


  • Cable twist ties are fanfuckingtastic. Ahhhhh....


  • One handed housekeeping is a bitch but the art of showering with one hand is like some sick cosmic joke offspring of a circus act and a day at the MVA.
  • My hair has officially defeated me. I never know what the hell it wants from me on a two-handed non-narcotic day so just forget it. I give up.


  • Instead of just itching from wrist to pit, I now itch absolutely everywhere thanks to the medicinal horribleness that is vicodin. From my scalp to the soles of my feet, I itch the itch of 1000 unreachable fleas. I imagine this must be what Paris Hilton feels like a lot of the time. Chalk up yet another monster drug disappointment!
  • B's cast graphitti is so cool that it almost makes it worth it. (Ok, yeah, not really. In fact not even close. But they're definitely the best part of the deal).

7 comments:

DaGince said...

Well then just wrap those up puppies up and mail em to me....Tell your quack doctor that he should have never given you something that makes you itch..stupid bastard..how ya gonna itch things with a broken elbow...try for oxycotton..man your medicine cabinet is gonna be screaming PARTY!!!

average blogger said...

So ... what does that mean? Five more weeks to go? And I am told that coathangers are also good for what itches you.

haveyouseenlucky said...

Why are you always hiding your mouth and nose? Are they horribly deformed or something?

Wait until they saw that fucker off and you have this pale scraggly arm that doesn't match your other arm.

You get bonus points for kicking Paris while she's down.

Scott said...

your images aren't showing up for me :( BUMMER

I guess this would be a bad time for you to get that raging case of the critters...

Brunch Bird said...

Oh my god! So not only did the rollerskating party keep you from my humble abode, but it resulted in injury! Not cool!

Beakerz said...

It's all a part of life, or so they tell me.

me, I say Fuck that and F that little girl for knocking you over!

meanwhile, I'll get to the flames (just for you Scottie my boy)

John Beckwith said...

What is your DEAL...??

Don't over-sell it!

PS: http://cityrag.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/owen_wilson_nose.jpg