Tuesday, December 19

May Cause Premature Death or Worse

You know what's a great idea? Quitting smoking.

Yeah, I gotta tell you, what they say is true! It's just the smartest and sanest and absolutely most fantastical thing that I've ever done for myself. I feel GREAT! Never better! I don't feel like I want to cry my face off at all! Why, I could kick myself for not doing this sooner!

Get out your shovels, people, because here come the bullet points:
  • My clothes smell like generic Giant fabric softener instead of like the back of Johnny Depp's throat
  • I can run further and faster than ever before (which is going to be especially kickass come Ironman season; shaving those ever-important seconds off of my overall time)
  • Now, more than ever, I feel equipped to handle those little, everyday stressors
  • No longer a need to brave the stark, 74 degree December weather to take smoke breaks while basking in the sunlight and socializing with fellow blacklungs (in fact, there's almost no need to leave my desk at all!)
  • Nice, even-keeled temperment
  • Certainly and absolutely no removal of other people's heads courtesy of my teeth with little or no provocation
  • People clamoring to be around me and hear all of my fun, sunshiny stories
  • Rampant bouts of feverish anxiety and wildly persuasive food cravings in the middle of the night are quite intriguing from a psychological standpoint

So, let's hear it! -- Hooray for pink lungs, whatever the fuck this chick here on the right is on, and the Californiacation of America!

Hooray.



27 comments:

Ar-Jew-Tino said...

Congrats, cheery! I'll be joining your effort in three weeks.

Aileen said...

Ahhhh yessss...and it's just a short time before you transition from non-smoker to anti-smoker!

Seriously though, I am unfortunately one of those former smokers that can't stomach even the whiff of cigarette smoke!

Chief Musical Ninja Monkie said...

Quitters never win. I think I will have three cigs in 10 mins in your honor. That is the smoker's equivalent of pouring a 40 for our homies.

Anonymous said...

You have done an OutStanding job of staying away from cigarettes. Even with having someone going outside for a smoke-a-day at home, you've stayed strong.

I'm very proud of you. You're really turning into one hellava health nut. Californiacation indeed....East coast style ;)

Carrie M said...

you are my hero. my black lungs will need to follow in your pink lungs' footsteps soon.

honeykbee said...

Aileen-- When exactly does that happen? Cause it's been a month now and I still have to restrain myself from licking people who reek of smoke.

Scott said...

YEY for less stinky-ness.. now you REALLY have to keep a handle on the feminine hygiene issues..

Anonymous said...

Congrats. It's a wonderful thing. Good for you! You'll never be sorry.

I just hit 4 years - still can't believe I did it.

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

Huh...wha? I'm sorry, you lost me at "Johnny Depp's throat." My mind just kind of faded out. Mmmmmmmmm.

Run Around Paris said...

Good for you - there's nothing more satisfying than putting your will power to use and sticking to your resolution.

Erin

Rothko said...

Here's another bullet point - take it from the husband of a former smoker: you'll be more pleasant to kiss! :-)

Lori said...

:) Yay, you know I'm proud! Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

i get it... i get it! it sucks, you're miserble.. wah f*n wah. smoking sucks and it'll kill you. really, if you start from that perspective everything else ort of seems a little more mellow, doesn't it?

dwb said...

read between the line people!! K is clearly completely full of shit and this posting is dripping with so much cynicism it's making blondie want a cigarette and a Beaver 6. quitting smoking is the worst thing that ever happened to her - just ask.

as a matter of fact, i picture K outside home depot right this minute marlboro light 100 in one hand and ring ding in the other.

Hey Pretty said...

I'm down to one ultra light a day.

you're doing good. no need to give up now. just think you'll have to relive the withdrawl all over again if you do.

Anonymous said...

It's a Beaver 5 GODDAMNIT!!

LaraChick said...

I smoked for 15+ years, just quit for real in April. In September, I went on a bender, smoked all Labor Day Weekend. I got a sinus infection from all the smoking. Then the antibiotics I went on caused an outbreak of hives that took a couple of weeks to heal. I hope I'm done smoking - payback was a bitch! But I still dream about lighting up.

Deatoni said...

To celebrate, cigarettes for everyone! Smoke em if ya got em!

Anonymous said...

Congrats! I wish I had the willpower you do. I've been smoking on and off for about 6 years now. I just can't seem to cut out the habit. Maybe next year...

Anonymous said...

huh huh Beaver (you know you were waiting for it)

and Rothko, it's not possible for her to be more appealing to kiss. (Boobear boobear. F you J-mopper)

Madame M. said...

Yay! Welcome to the Light Side!

E :) said...

My pink lungs welcome you! Congratulations!

CruiserMel said...

So, how'd you do it?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Quitting smoking is brave! I'm rooting for you! I got to your blog through the very kind and supportive comment you left on mine the other day. I appreciated it so much.

Golightly said...

congrats! I am clapping for you!

menrva said...

I quit smoking in August of 2003. It's one of the hardest things I ever did in my life but was TOTALLY worth it in the end! Keep sticking it out and congratulations!

FMS said...

yeah for pink lungs! now you can get a doggie and make good use of the damn outdoor time ;)
love the wall! let's see some kitchen appliance pictures.