All Your Condo Are Belong To Us

Yup, that's right. You heard correctly and it's official! No more renting -- I own a condo!


Closing was pretty painless, but for several giant checks I had to write. My folks swooped into town to hold my hand during closing and a couple hundred signatures later my soul became property of the bank and the deal was sealed!! Meanwhile, just as quickly as my parents swooped in, they swooped out. Again leaving me to wonder why it is that they must escape our presence in such a heated rush. I cleaned the catbox and everything! What gives?

Mind you, before fleeing town, my mom managed to accidentally lock a door in the condo that effectively closed off the living room and kitchen from the bedrooms and bath. The look on her face when she pulled that door closed was priceless. As soon as that door clicked in the jam she immediately turned to me with wide eyes and apologized, in a way that only she can, by saying "who puts a lock on an internal door"?!

This might also help explain to some of you regular readers why I tend to pee with the door open unless reminded otherwise.

No word as of yet on whether or not they'll be able to disassemble that door before the carpet is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow, but I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, I already hate the lady at the front desk. She's this little old thing with a thick yet curiously unidentifiable accent. I'm trying to be nice to her (mostly because I'm nice to everyone, at least initially, but also because I'm acutely aware that she will be controlling my mail flow for foreseeable future) but she won't stop asking me how much I paid for the condo and I find her grammatically incorrect busybodyness to be really irritating. Since we'd passed each other once before, I smile as I walk by her in the lobby and say "hello" and she says: "how much you pay for condo"?

Wtf? In what country is that a reasonable exchange of courtesies?

I called a few minutes ago to find out whether there were any condo association rules regarding move-in day and after asking me for my unit number then sliding some papers around to make it sound like she was about to help me, she said, "how much you pay for condo"?

I haven't had any of my questions answered, I'm getting pretty steamed, and I'm running out of polite ways to ask that she "shut fuck up".

Woo hoo and zonino! My first battle as a homeowner!!

(Wow... I kinda can't believe that I actually did it. And according to the timeline I set for myself. Freakin' Wild...)