Wednesday, November 29

All Your Condo Are Belong To Us

Yup, that's right. You heard correctly and it's official! No more renting -- I own a condo!


Closing was pretty painless, but for several giant checks I had to write. My folks swooped into town to hold my hand during closing and a couple hundred signatures later my soul became property of the bank and the deal was sealed!! Meanwhile, just as quickly as my parents swooped in, they swooped out. Again leaving me to wonder why it is that they must escape our presence in such a heated rush. I cleaned the catbox and everything! What gives?

Mind you, before fleeing town, my mom managed to accidentally lock a door in the condo that effectively closed off the living room and kitchen from the bedrooms and bath. The look on her face when she pulled that door closed was priceless. As soon as that door clicked in the jam she immediately turned to me with wide eyes and apologized, in a way that only she can, by saying "who puts a lock on an internal door"?!

This might also help explain to some of you regular readers why I tend to pee with the door open unless reminded otherwise.

No word as of yet on whether or not they'll be able to disassemble that door before the carpet is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow, but I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, I already hate the lady at the front desk. She's this little old thing with a thick yet curiously unidentifiable accent. I'm trying to be nice to her (mostly because I'm nice to everyone, at least initially, but also because I'm acutely aware that she will be controlling my mail flow for foreseeable future) but she won't stop asking me how much I paid for the condo and I find her grammatically incorrect busybodyness to be really irritating. Since we'd passed each other once before, I smile as I walk by her in the lobby and say "hello" and she says: "how much you pay for condo"?

Wtf? In what country is that a reasonable exchange of courtesies?

I called a few minutes ago to find out whether there were any condo association rules regarding move-in day and after asking me for my unit number then sliding some papers around to make it sound like she was about to help me, she said, "how much you pay for condo"?

I haven't had any of my questions answered, I'm getting pretty steamed, and I'm running out of polite ways to ask that she "shut fuck up".

Woo hoo and zonino! My first battle as a homeowner!!

(Wow... I kinda can't believe that I actually did it. And according to the timeline I set for myself. Freakin' Wild...)

22 comments:

Fiery Nuggets said...

COngratulations! That's a huge accomplishment. And if I were you I would tell the condo lady what you really think about her asking. But politely. Like, "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable disclosing that information." Just be really official about it. After all, your relationship with her is a business one more than a personal one. It's a weird line though. Good luck with that.

Brunch Bird said...

How about telling her "Oh, you wouldn't believe it. I paid nunya!" And when she says "Nunya?" You say, "Nunya damn business lady!"

And that is awesome about the ownership. You should be really proud!

dwb said...

seriously, who puts a lock on an internal door? or on an outside one? in south brooklyn? only to install a $5,000 alarm? after the house is broken into? twice? in one week? on your birthday?

i can't wait to come over and piss this lady off too - want me to egg her car or something (does she drive a yellow mustang by chance?).

tell her you paid 5 times more or less than you actually did and watch her reaction as she processes the implications on whatever reason drove her to ask in the first place.

Anonymous said...

welcome to the wonderful world of home ownership.

avocadoinparadise said...

Wow! Purchasing real estate is a huge deal! Way to go. Your profile lists MD, is it part of suburbia or are you in the District now?

My parents always stay way too short of a time when they visit too! Like they don't want to be around our little lodgings or something!

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

"I pay much for condo. Is big hole in account of savings."

And try to sound like Borat when you respond.

Golightly said...

Congratulations!!! Way to go, you're a big girl now ;)

Scott said...

congrats beyotch. :)

as for asking the price, that's just tacky! where the hell was she brought up?

in my county all of the property values as well as what was paid for them and whether the owner is behind on taxes is located on a public website, so it's no big mystery here LOL

Rothko said...

Everybody in our building knows what everybody else paid for their condo. The news kinda spreads like a bad rash. But at least people have the courtesy of finding out through the good ol' grapevine and chattering about it behind the new owner's back. Nobody just comes out and asks like that! I mean, that would be rude.

Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Mazel Tov!

Anonymous said...

I am so excite for you!! Homeownership is a great thing - especially for your taxes.

As for Front Desk lady, you can tell her it is a matter of punlic record and she can find out for herself, at INS, then bring her a fruitcake.

Ok that was horrible. But definately bring her a fruitcake.

DaGince said...

Um..i have yet to read or hear anything to the effect of "Hey Everyone, me and B are having a party, come on over..." hurt...

Hey Pretty said...

That is SO great! I am convinced that I am doomed to a life of renting, unless I manage to marry up. I like to think of it as "Edith Warton chic."

dwb said...

i agree with anonymous person, maybe you should wear mom's INS hat next time you show up to take measurements.

who are these people? sigh...so much volume looking at those picturs (besides scott's wallpaper). and when is that party? i'll bring you a mocha machine...mooooocha....

raine said...

congratulations!! woooooo to the hooooooo!

Madame M said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Chief Ninja Monkie said...

Congrats K and B. Nicely done.

Deatoni said...

Congratulations fellow "I have to pay how much every month!?!?" home owner!
Just remember when the big bad tax man/woman comes blowing into town you wont see any immediate results since you just bought the place, but 2008, mmmmm HMMMM! getting that tax check will be like a summer breeze.

As for the front desk lady, just remember, you have to tip her for xmas. Id advise you to tell her youre secretly a love child of the Hiltons, your parents paid for your place so you dont know how much it went for, and you think everything is hot.

So hot.

MAD MAC said...

so when's the condo warming party??

I will bring the Caviar and peanut brittle...

How much you pay for condo? Hmm Maybe she love you long time!!!

Dirka Dirka...


Good luck being homowner....

Congrats............

zandria said...

That is really cool. I can only imagine how excited you must be to no longer be renting. :)

steakbellie said...

"All of your base"
enjoyed the reference...

condo in Philippines said...

Enjoy your own space! Hope to see on your next post the interior shots in it. :)

arrielle p