Sunday, October 1

Two Yards Shy

Flag! Foul! Another flag! Flags everywhere! The work done to my car has been declared incomplete. Sure the new bumper looks great (and by bumper, I mean "bumper" since I don't think cars have actually had "bumpers" since mid-late last century. This, btw, tosses a hardy wrench in my "that's what bumpers are for" theory during parallel parking), but I digress...

The bumper damn well should look good since it took them NEARLY A WEEK TO PUT IT ON! Oh you thought I was paranoid when I said they were probably just hanging on to it in order to harvest pieces from my engine? HA! Look who's paranoid now! Beautiful new bumper, but the car won't start. WON'T START!

SO, yeah. Autumn is upon us and the days are getting shorter. It's football season and professionals are being intentionally stabbed in their unprotected heads by 6inch cleats. Ants are scurrying indoors for warmth. It's clearly going to be another Christmas abroad for many of our enlisted kids. Certainly many have it harder than I. Many have it seriously hard. And I? I am warm, fat and healthy. I just like to complain. And the fact that my car won't start makes me want to ball my hands into tiny fists and pound away at my pillows with screaming blasts until everything works as it should work.

Contributing realizations that I had over the weekend:

  • I don't know where Aruba is.
  • At least half of the glory of seeing a gigantic rainbow is sharing it with someone.
  • 2 minutes is entirely too long to allow Peyton Manning to rally in the 4th.
  • Spending all of Friday night pouting does not make the weekend as a whole seem longer.
  • Not all rainbow cookies are created equal (Magruders' version tastes like sardine paste soaked in sweaty boysocks. Even if the Magruder's is found in the general vicinity of a rainbows end).
  • While an amusing campaign, that "easy button" is a total crock.

Hope you had a good weekend.

Hey-- check out what I found when I was looking for an image of a rubber car bumper. People are Wee-ee-ee-ird.


kershdo said...

Wait a minute - The "easy button" is a crock? But, but, but, it APPEARS to be working. Maybe you just got a defective one.

dwb said...

I received my easy button Sat night, and I can assure you it is in my office and working perfectly. Everytime I delegate something long, tedious, and simple to some poor unsuspecting associate, they are forced to press the button and listen to "now that was easy". woo hahahahahah. woooo hahahahah.

aruba is 16 miles north of venezueala. it is hot, arid, and very very nice when laying on the beach for a week. wo hahahahahah. wooo haahahahah

Amanda said...

I don't know where any islands are (with the exceptions of Hawaii and Greenland and I guess the UK) and I am reminded of this every time I see that Capital One commercial. Then I think about how much I hate Capital One.

Two minutes is entirely too long to allow Peyton Manning to do anything that doesn't involve him being crushed beneath the Steelers' defensive line.

Today's word verification -- gtgyrp -- appears to be an overly complicated IM signoff.