Sunday, July 9

The Devil Wears Payless

Yes, yes I know. It's feast or famine with me.

Two in one night is a little much, but I'm busting so I gotta tell you (though if you've been paying attention then I probably don't have to tell you) about the infinite parallels between the movie we just saw and my work/life over (almost exactly) the last eight months. I mean, it's un-effin-canny. Definitely not enough screaming in the movie, nowhere near. Screaming and head spinning. "Face melting" was dead on; overall, it was a darn good imitation. In the movie, they even called her Dragon lady! *gasp* I'll have to be adding that to the list of names that I thought I so cleverly created only to later find out is used by 98% of the population. Right after "Bear", "Davy Wavy", and "JakeGetTheFuckOffOfThere".

We just got back from our movie date and I'm still rather tweaked. If it weren't 1am, I'd be on the phone with Niki and Dale demanding that they throw on some slippers and catch another viewing with me. I pretty much imagined them there with me the entire time anyway. Especially when the movie version of the "Dragon" bosslady tears apart the starry-eyed new worker bee, destroying her confidence for shits and giggles, -- everyone in attendance at the Bethesda Regal laughed out loud. I was the only one not laughing. In fact, I was thisclose to standing up and yelling "Why is this funny?? THAT IS NOT FUNNY!".

But they wouldn't understand. And not just because most of them were 16 year old non-English-speaking European's visiting on summer visas to work at day camps. They think this is an exaggerated character that does not actually exist in real life. Because in real life, people aren't treated that way in a professional environment, right?


HA, I say!


Scott said...

Dream on, starry-eyed child. I am on my third "dragon" now and it doesn't seem that I will get past this trend. I tend to find work with the most shrewd bitches to walk the face of the earth. Hell, my last bitch, broomhilda, told my last immediate supervisor (upon hearing that she was going to happy hour with some of the more popular women from work) "It must be hard for you to go out with all of the pretty girls." ::Gasp:: Yeah, no shit!

Hell, she's the reason my former boss quit without another job lined up about 2 months after I walked. It had become unbearable for her and she JUST now (7 months later) landed a new job. She has vowed to never work for a woman again and I don't blame her. Women supervisors can be the most evil creatures to sliver the earth.

I had Cunt F_____, who refused to let me get an internal promotion and did everything in her power to stop it because she didn't think she could replace me. Broomhilda, the aforementioned psychopath who told people that my problem was that I was gay and had a hard time reconciling with Jesus (she was a born-again). Finally I have "That Cunt" who doesn't have a nice bone in her body and who loves to get her nose in everyone's work and tie up everything until you miss the deadline and then calls you incompetant. Devil indeed!

So I'm thinking I must have broken a mirror shop in a previous life. What'd you do?

Needtsza said...

I always like to go on dates where they think about other people.

DaGince said...

If I could tell you what I do for a living, I would give you a job, and you would be your own boss...I know this dont help any but I am putting it out there.

Needtsza said...

I know what he does ;)

honeykbee said...

I know what he doesn't do...