Monday, February 14

VD at Wally World


So I did a bunch of research (of course) and, on Jan 27, placed an order for flowers (for Michelle) to be delivered on VD. Outstanding tradition, if I do say so myself. Just can't rely on the boys to get the flower thing right, ya know? Anyway, did research. I went with WalMart because they were, d'uh, cheaper and, I'm like, poor. And stingy. Lethal combination. Bada-bing, bada-boom, clickity-click flowers ordered, right? Wrong. Last night I get an email from them saying there will be an "indefinite delay" on the flower shipment. Assholes. So, I wrote back and let them know that notice of "indefinite delay" of an order I placed 18 days ago was unacceptable. Figured typing to was the equivalent of talking to myself so I also followed the directions they gave to cancel the order. I then shopped around to see if I could get anything sent cross-country overnight for less than 13 trillion dollars. No such luck.

Today I get an email from Wally World saying my flowers have shipped! Assholes! I cancelled that!

I followed the tracking number they provided and FedEx has no record. Invalid. Resubmit. Assholes.

I called and Tina was very helpful. After 12 minutes on hold she informed me that she doesn't know where the flowers are and can neither confirm nor deny either their shipment or cancellation. Lovely. Tina apologized for the wholehearted assholeness of her organization and promised me a refund in full. I asked for an email confirmation of the refund. This is what I got:

Subject:Your Recent Flower Order
Mon, 14 Feb 2005 13:15:59
From:" Fulfillment"

Dear [Foolish Mortal],

Thank you for your recent flower order from We are writing to let you know that the email notification you received informing you that your floral order was delayed was sent by mistake. Please accept our apologies for this error.

Your order has shipped and will arrive on time. We did receive your cancellation request for this order; however, your order had already shipped before we were able to process the cancellation.

We are sorry for any confusion or inconvenience this may have caused. We will be issuing a $5 Online Gift Card to your account to compensate for our mistake.

If you need further assistance or need a refund to be issued, please email us at or call us at 1-800-966-6546. We are here to serve you from 7:00 AM EST to 2:00 AM EST, 7 days a week.

Again, please accept our apologies. [Yadda yadda yadda...]

Allow this posting to serve as your official welcome to my shitlist, WalMart. There's room for you right here next to patronizing empty-box giving BestBuy and charging-me-for-cable-
in-an-apartment- in-which-I-haven't-lived-for-six-months Comcast. This is what I get for not listening to Lysa and boycotting Wally World and their slave waging sprawl in the first place. .<.Anav.>. Oh and p.s. <./anav.>. , no flowers have been delivered.

Happy Valentine's Day!


Michelle said...

Not that I in anyway am arguing that WalMart is full of idiots, but I DID receive the beautiful daisies! I LOVElove daisies... more than ice cream, even. Which is a way big deal for me.

So thank you THANK YOU for proving that I don't need a boyfriend to get flowers on Valentines Day, I especially don't need THAT boyfriend that never sent them, anyways.

Loves, M

Scott said...

Wal-Mart??? You SHOPPED at Wal-mart! you heathen!!!!

I hate that f'ing place. They really pissed me off w/ the whole Mastercard Debit Card - thing

honeykbee said...

that link didn't work, scottie, it just took me to a walmart main page. A main page that had tons of enticing merchandise. *bites nails*