So, here's the story: this driver (with her vehicle's nose to us), is puttering along the two-lane, two-way traffic, highly commercial, quiet, country, lake-side road. Hyper-aware of her surroundings, she sets her sights on a vacant spot across the street and sharply turns the wheel of her SUV, crossing and blocking multiple lanes of traffic. Also, as it happens, there's already a dude backing up into said spot. La la la, he backs up casually and legally. In his mind he's already two bites into his PotBelly supper, taking bites in tempo with his blinking right turn signal. Tick, tick, yum, delicious PotBe--- Whoa! What's going on?! He taps the break, his vehicle trickling to a halt, inches from the aggressive bitch-flipper.
Even though we are, to my knowledge, neither in communist Russia nor Trafalger square, based on the cursing and honking it would appear that this lady, now in everyone's way, thinks she's got the right of way.
The poor dude driver barely knew what hit him as the approaching "driver" exploded into a frenzy, flinging every expletive she could think of his way. If you look really close at the picture above, you can see the flames emerging from the SUV, emitted by her gaping yap, and just off-screen to the right you can almost make out the beginnings of a tear in the eye of the poor, befuddled and hungry dude driver. It occurred to him that he was now officially risking his life over a PotBelly chicken salad chicken salad. Surely delicious, but fatal? Apparently.
He spots her Mothra-like approach in his rearview mirror and clenches. Witnesses report noting his life flashing before his eyes via a disembodied thought bubble floating overhead; all those books unread, sandwiches uneaten.
She emerges from her car, tentacles flailing, flames engulfing her entire head, she waddles his way with enormous, thumping hindquarters. Seeing no means of escape, he grips the wheel with both hands, leaning forward and preparing to meet certain doom, dying over a parking spot that was rightfully his...
Until she saw me there with my camera...
Even though we are, to my knowledge, neither in communist Russia nor Trafalger square, based on the cursing and honking it would appear that this lady, now in everyone's way, thinks she's got the right of way.
The poor dude driver barely knew what hit him as the approaching "driver" exploded into a frenzy, flinging every expletive she could think of his way. If you look really close at the picture above, you can see the flames emerging from the SUV, emitted by her gaping yap, and just off-screen to the right you can almost make out the beginnings of a tear in the eye of the poor, befuddled and hungry dude driver. It occurred to him that he was now officially risking his life over a PotBelly chicken salad chicken salad. Surely delicious, but fatal? Apparently.
He spots her Mothra-like approach in his rearview mirror and clenches. Witnesses report noting his life flashing before his eyes via a disembodied thought bubble floating overhead; all those books unread, sandwiches uneaten.
She emerges from her car, tentacles flailing, flames engulfing her entire head, she waddles his way with enormous, thumping hindquarters. Seeing no means of escape, he grips the wheel with both hands, leaning forward and preparing to meet certain doom, dying over a parking spot that was rightfully his...
Until she saw me there with my camera...
Jailarity ensues.
3 comments:
this is the type of person you allow to park. and then leave their car there. alone. waiting for you. and your can of spray paint.
oh, calvin's going to learn so much from his uncle dave
This might be a case for duck taping something nasty under the driver's side door sill...like maybe a nice Tuna sub...maybe with Mayo. Pretty soon that troll might even notice that her car reeks...
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