Friday, January 9

A Friendly Reminder to Follow Your Dreams; There Are No Dumb Ideas, Only Dumb Consumers

Did you guys spend a little too much time testing the capacity of your cheeks over the cookie tray this holiday season? Or maybe you've been trying to coax yourself back into the gym ever since your fourth vienerschnitzel on Independence day? Well, forget all that. I hereby alleviate you of all gut-related guilt. For now -- it is time that men learned what every American woman and girl alike has always known; pantyhose really suck.

Behold! From the makers of Mandex, I bring you.... Mantyhose!:

Not just for superheros and other assorted crossdressers anymore, Mantyhose are (apparently) already quite popular in Europe amongst ball carriers from all walks of life. For all you metro American men on the bleeding cusp of fashion (and if you are wearing lemon body butter or hair gel right now -- then yes, you are one), you'll want to click here for a how-to guide (complete with "now-you-tell-me" tips such as "trim your fingernails" before applying) or pick up a copy of "27 Ways of Wearing Pantyhose as a Man" found here. Seriously. That's an actual book that someone actually published.

Follow your dreams! You, too, can accomplish your goals! Just ask this dude here on the left, who is attempting to look pleased with himself even though everyone with breasts can clearly discern his particular breed of discomfort.

And If your goals include maintaining the appearance of someone who spends his evenings on the rubber instead of in the batter, you're going to want to pick up a Mirdle, too.


Deatoni said...

When im feeling sad and depressed, i think im going to use this as my new mantra: "Harness The Girth, Unleash The Mirth".

Ohhhhh fuck yea.

HaveYouSeenLucky said...

Can I just get the "Male Comfort Panel" part and nothing else?

Burnt Couch said...

If these are gay, I don't wanna be straight: