Tuesday, April 1

The Hunt For Chocolate Twizzlers

Few products couldn't stand to have a little more chocolate.

Raisinettes? More chocolate.

Bananas and strawberries? Natures' candy just screams "bring on the chocolate"!

Pineapple and little chunks of spongecake? Clearly require more chocolate.

Fried chicken? Sure, more chocolate. (Could it really hurt at that point?)

Almonds? More dark chocolate.

Rice Chex? More chocolate.

Peeps? Oh hells yeah! Has no one thought of that?! More chocolate!

Chocolate licorice? *screech* OKAY, HOLD THE PHONE.

Chocolate Twizzlers (or, as Hershey's so unnecessarily loudly refers to them, Chocolate TWIZZLERS), were a perfectly chocolaty, perfectly waxy, perfectly low-calorie treat (--neigh! Institution!) until some time in early 2008 when Hershey's, in their infinite wisdom (the kind oft inspired by simultaneously sniffing cocoa and glue fumes) changed the recipe. There was no warning, they just changed the product. Are they allowed? Sure. Is it one of the worst ideas in marketing history? Most definitely.

Regardless of how you feel about the old Chocolate TWIZZLERS, have you tasted this new recipe? The bag trumpets that the candy has been infused with "100% Hershey's Chocolate!" but it tastes more like it's been infused with "100% Sweaty Burka!". Hershey's took out the trans fat, as well as all of the taste and texture. Way to go, Hershey's. Oh, but they nearly doubled the calories. So it's got that going for it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, LEAVE THE TRANS FATS ALONE, GD IT!

If you've been in touch with me at all over the last week or so then you likely saw this post coming. This snack attack is most definitely my latest grandiose bee-peevement. My glycerin levels are plummeting and it's adding an extra special sauce to my usual malevolence. I'd like to take this opportunity to add that it's not just me. So before you go thinking (though it's probably already well too late) "there she goes, off on another one of her crazy lunatic fringes again" just know that I'm not alone on this journey. The chocolate TWIZZLER crazybus is full of furious snackers who have been denied their chewy just desserts (like here, here, here, not so much here because this person is clearly premenstrual, and here).

Ten chocolaty calories full of waxy goodness, I mean, what's not to love?! They are (well, were) the perfect treat. Why, oh why, would you ever change Chocolate TWIZZLERS, Hershey's?! I don't see you taking the deliciously evil transfats out of the elephant ears you serve in your theme park. In fact, the HersheyPark site lists "Dippin Dots" ice cream under "HEALTHY FOOD OPTIONS". What kind of blogger would I be if I let such hypocrisy go un-whined about?

I wrote to Hershey's. To their credit, they wrote back within the promised 24-48 hour time frame. They thanked me for writing about their (altered beyond palatability and recognition) product, and promptly requested that I go F myself.

I scoured the web, closeout candy sites, and experienced some success (albeit with outrageous shipping fees) on eBay. When I asked the seller if the TWIZZLERS pictured were the actual product for sale, and not the "new" recipe that says "Hershey's Chocolate" on the bag, the seller replied, "wow, people keep asking me that. That new stuff must really suck". Very professional, right? I bought all of her candy bags.

I then called the Hershey's customer service number (ahem, toll free 1-800-468-1714) to further my complaint and with hopes of finding out where to score some more of the "old" chocolate TWIZZLERS (HEY, you have your hobbies, leave me alone)! The rep who picked up the phone couldn't have been less surprised to hear my complaint. Seems there's been a bit of a chocolate TWIZZLERS outcry and if it continues, they might actually bring back the old recipe. But of course, they said that about Veronica Mars, too, so I'm cautiously optimistic (though they also said it about 90210 so, woohoo!). Maybe they've heard from BestBuy and I've already built a name for myself as a complainer not to dare cross? Or maybe ours isn't the only crazybus in town? Let's hope.

I enlisted my internet guru brother for help. I look forward to some distant day when he finishes laughing.

NO! I will not "accept the truth and move on"!

Chocolate TWIZZLEResses unite!


Oh ha ha ha, BizRate. Ha ha ha.


27 comments:

dwb said...

internet guru? it's not like i have the power to get Jake ordained king of catster or anything.

btw, did you hear they are bringing back "21 Jump Street"? It's still going to star Jonny Depp except this time Booker and Hanson will be undercover in assisted living facilities (looking for things like life insurance fraud and viagra rackets). Also, i heard they came out with a new and improved infiniti G37 - it looks really good (only the GPS is not as good and it is only 200HP). Oh oh...and Ocean Palace has this great new shumai- except instead of pork, they are using "spork" this new spam based anti transfat dim sum filling...mmmmmm

Travis Butterfield said...

I like your blog! I'm also really happy to find that I'm not the only one who wants to seriously hurt whoever thought up the "brilliant" idea of messing with my favorite snack food of all time. They were hard enough to find as it was, and then they went and replaced them with ultra crap! Argh! The funniest thing is that for Christmas my roommate bought me some of the old school chocolate twizzlers, because I could never find them when I went to the store, and I would complain about it every time we went shopping. Best. Christmas present. Ever. Seriously.

Scott said...

hehehe chocolate makes everything better. g-man and i had this debate yesterday as we fought over whether we should put chocolate or strawberry on our churros. i went with chocolate, he went for strawberry. i still think mine had to have been better.

mineIsay said...

You know, I think it's been a mighty few months since I wrote someone and complained about something. If i have some time this afternoon, I'll give those folks a call and tell them I want my old TWIZZLERS back - though, I am a little frightened that if I do that, my cell phone will stop working in my apartment.

Chief Ninja Monkies said...

Ummm...are you perhaps thinking a bit too much about this? Possibly? What? I didn't see that knife in your hand. sorry...wait...no...I said I was sorry...STOP..that hurts...aarghh....

DaGince said...

Bitch Bitch Bitch...Save the trees, save the whales, save this save that,bring back this bring back that...ohhhh the air is dirty, the water's not clean..my swizzler taste like shit...whaaa, you dirty hippie! Get a job! Do your part..Grab Your ankles and enjoy your partially hydrogenated faux-wax substitute chocolate baggie treat...Cant never please nobody...anybody seen my zoloft?

Needtsza said...

Christ, is it from Lysa that you got this "write them and tell them they suck"? or is she copying you?
lol
Meanwhile, F Twizzlers for making this major mistake.
Hell, F everyone that has banned Transfats and etc etc for the world being overweight or unhealthy. I won't go off here but it ain't the f'n Twizzlers that is the problem.

Jake is the King of the Internet! Catster, of course too.

And did you know they make Chocolate covered Matza? Yea...but it has Peanut in it. How do I know? My dad bought some for my Aunt but my mom said I can't have any.......even if it were trace amounts -cough cough-

ltb!! (i'm just messin' with ya..happy Friday)

haveyaseenlucky said...

Forget the chocolate twizzlers! I can't find regular old black twizzlers ANYWHERE here!

Anonymous said...

well i have called and emailed as well but i dont think it will matter.moma always said if its not broken dont fix it. but i guess they got no moma.or we now know were the guy went who made new coke is now

Anonymous said...

We totally agree with you.
Twizzlers, PLEASE listen to your customers (imagine that!) and bring back the good recipee and save us from the floury medicine bad texture, who the Hell approved thi$!

JP101 said...

I've complained to them several times as well. Seems there are quite a few people who feel this way. Maybe we should start a petition online.

Brem said...

Ya know, sometimes I get the worst cravings for chocolate twizzlers. I jump in the car, drive to the store, walk down the candy aisle, I stop in front of the licorice section, find the chocolate twizzlers… and then remember. Damn them!! Damn them and their “new and improved” recipe!! Why did they do it! Were they not selling enough of the delicious original chocolate twizzlers? Did they find that it was more cost effective to make the new crappy tasting, more fattening chocolate TWIZZLERS? They could have at least given some kind of warning so that I could have bought a lifetime supply. Geez!!

How pathetic this must sound, a grown man making a fuss about candy. But if you think about it, we had been eating these delectable treats since childhood. For some taking a bite into a piece of the original chocolate twizzlers could spark wonderful childhood memories. Okay,… maybe that’s a little much, but hey I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve tried Ebay, a bunch of random online candy stores, and have even called and complained to Herseys. Does anyone know how or where the ORIGINAL chocolate twizzlers can be acquired? If you know, PLEASE share the knowhow with the rest of us.

Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome post!!!!Maybe hershey will listen.
Anyone remmber Nabisco Chocolate Snaps....wish they brought them back also.

Companies need to start listening to their consumers.

Michele Sobo said...

I went to Superfresh supermarket last week during their closeout sale..I almost shrieked when I saw ORIGINAL chocolate Twizzlers!! I bought the three bags that were mixed in the stacks with the new "Hershey chocolate" ones.
They are so delicious and I really do miss them. They still taste pretty good even for being a few years old ;o)

Anonymous said...

I just received a letter from Hershey's yesterday saying that they are going BACK to the old recipe. It also included 2 coupons for free bags. Now if I could just find them in the stores. Everyone still has the new and "improved" ones.

Anonymous said...

Apparently after a year and 1/2 they are listening. The original recipe is coming back out. I attribute this (in part) due to my sister complaining! They acknowledged the many unhappy customers, and are bringing back the original! In addition, they sent her some coupons for a couple of free bags. I told her I want in on them, lol!

Mike

honeykbee said...

Mike, that is most excellent news. Please do consider keeping us posted! Pardon my cynicism, but it's almost too good to be true...

Kbee

Anonymous said...

I got the letter too! (complained years ago.) Just can't find them yet :(

Anonymous said...

Same here on the letter and coupons! Never thought it would happen.

Anonymous said...

also got letter and coupons. anyone know where we can find them ?

Brem said...

I also received "the letter". After checking every grocery store and gas station in the vicinity, and not being able to find them, I went ahead and called the Hersey's company again. One of the customer service reps informed me that they have been out since November 2011 and that I would just have to wait for them to get to my state (Utah). I asked if I could order them online and she told me that they were not available through their online store. (?)! Very frustrating! I really hope that they're available,...somewhere. Has anyone had any luck finding them? I have the coupons too and I refuse to use them on crap they refer to as twizzlers.

Sandie said...

Original chocolate twists are back......on 3/17/12 I bought a bunch of bags of twizzlers coclate twists....on the bag look for Classic Twist ....I got them at Walmart in St.Croix Falls WI. If not in your area yet they should be soon.... Yum Yum,,,Thank you, hersheys........

JB said...

Just found the original recipe ones here in Austin Texas area. My daughter got a bag and I didn't know they were back to the old formula. I saw it sitting open on the counter and was astounded to see them in the old style. Thanks for someone listening (probably sales of the new style were in the tank).

Anonymous said...

They brought them back!!! I bought a bag yesterday & they're already gone! Im so happy that HERSHEYS finally brought back the classic twists! THey taste just like the old ones. Beyond happy!!! <3

Anonymous said...

I am so happy the old chocolate twists are back! Truly made my day! Classic twists are the best ! My fav! :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, I am usually the one that goes along with the crowd, but I never EVER liked Twizzlers until my husband turned me onto the soft and chewy chocolate Twizzlers ... and unlike all of those before me, was so disappointed in their change of taste and texture of the new (well, old Classic Twist Choco Twizzlers). It's a good thing you people don't don't who I am or I would prob be afraid to go out for fear of retribution. In my defense, I have found many others who also support my taste buds - guess this is what makes the world go round - different views, tastes, etc. etc. etc.

Anonymous said...

What's up with these new "classic twists" ? Sorry to say they suck ! They have the consistency of plastic and don't taste anything like chocolate.Does anyone know where I can get some of the delicious chewy actual chocolate ones?Also since the are so many of us that feel this way can we get Twizzler to go back to making them the right way somehow? Help ! Please !