Tuesday, February 26

Seriously, Sport & Health? Seriously?

Pouting through my entire workout because the scale finally decided to budge ...but it budged in the wrong direction. WRONG DIRECTION. A whole POUND in the wrong direction. How can that be? I mean, seriously, how can that seriously be? Weighed myself ten, twelve, fourteen times. Zero out. Tare scale. Hop back on. Pout. Repeat. Seems there's no way around it, I gained a pound. A pound of lettuce? A pound of water? A pound of freckles? Muscle? Who cares. I worked off over 2200 calories last week (not including a 40 minute swim during which one would be ill-advised to wear their heart rate monitor) and you, you insolent little bastard device, you're telling me that somewhere along the line I consumed some 5,500 extra calories that I'm failing to take into account? Am I sleepdriving to Wendy's? Unknowingly eating lard-injected iceberg? WTF!? Seriously, wtf.

I am displeased. Very displeased with myself. I'm already at the gym and dressed so I do my work out, but I do so in the most displeased of manners.

Hopped back on the (same) scale after yesterday's workout (burned a few extra calories thanks to the sobbing and looping panting pleas of "WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER"!!??) and the scale said I lost 2.8 lbs. Stupid fucking broken scale.

BROKEN SCALE!

I walk home wondering when exactly I got so girly and fragile in the waterworks department.

My eyes hadn't yet dried from my scale-induced sobbing when I pick up my mail and get this:

ORLY!?


If you can't read the gif, the short of it is that Sport & Health plans on charging us (and presumably, all of their members) a $19 "maintenance fee" without so much as attaining authorization or providing contact information. Let alone a working scale or water fountain.

I mean, is that even legal?! I know it's not nice. But is it legal?!

Rest assured, I took out all of my workidiot and scale trauma aggression out on the poor membership dude who was the most recent email contact I had with Sport & Health. Short of him writing me back in tears and handing over one of those really big checks with my name on it (like the Publishers Clearinghouse kind, with a lot of zeros and made out of 8ftx4ft oak tag), something tells me this is far from over.



8 comments:

rothko said...

Not sure if this will make you feel better or not, but I think it's fairly common to gain a little weight when you first start working out more. It's a cliche, but it's muscle. And it's a good thing! I went on a workout hiatus, and lost a lot of weight during that time, but it wasn't a good sort of losing weight. I've recently started getting back into a more consistent regime and have gained several pounds. Of course, you may want to tell me to go F off with all that goody-goody positive talk. And that's fine. I will. But just sayin'. :-)

Anonymous said...

she's too nice to say it to anyone but her most beloved but she's surely somewhree telling you to F off. she's been working out for 2.5 years and this is the only movement.

so sorry hon

Scott said...

1) Tell the fuckers to stick it
2) Please.. one point? That could have been that extra bug that crawled into your nose while you were sleeping that tipped you past the 4/5 round up. ;-)

BeautifulDisaster said...

BUT . . . the important thing is that you continued with your workout, even if in the most displeased of manners. . . oh that made me laugh!!! You know that working out is good for you regardless of what the assinine broken scale says, even if you do it in the most displeased of manners. You rock!

Burnt Couch said...

<---agrees with beautiful disaster AND 'Friend'? Dear Friend? What friend would write to say they're fucking you over and ha ha, nothing you can do about it?

In a follow-up, show em the reply letter?

As everyone knows, this gal ain't just gonna tell em to F off in theory. You go girl!

haveyaseenlucky said...

Is this one of the doctor type scales or one of the springy type ones?

zandria said...

Charging a random $19 fee is NOT COOL AT ALL.

And scales? Yuck! :)

PurgedHalo said...

*hugs*.

Scales are just data collection tools; you're way better off looking for trends off of a single scale instead of looking at snapshots.