Sunday, July 22

I 69! I 69!

This weekend brought yet another devastating blow to our population as a whole (not to mention the resurgence of the Blue Eyeshadow Movement). Can't you just see it now? All the Monday-morning water cooler tales of "where were you when Tammy Faye died"? It'll be this generation's Columbia or JFK jr. disaster! Personally, my answer to the upcoming big Evangelista in the sky question will be this:



Indeed, I was wearing a paper nametag and yelling bingo numbers into a room of people whose cumulative ages totalled 505 years; that's right, five people showed up to our building's game night! Ok but I'm serious. Five. And they didn't like each other much. This one lady had a BINGO three separate times and couldn't even see it. I mean, literally, see it. Felt bad for her until she and Euince* nearly came to blows over an errant dime. Seriously. A dime (as in ten cents) was missing from the bingo pot and the accusations flew like fruit flies like a banana.

Actual conversation:
Eunice: "Thief!"
Enid: "WHORE!"

*names have been changed to protect the deranged elderly.

Unlike the Squishee photo, the above is an actual image captured of my uproariously wild Saturday night. It might not look like much to you, and we certainly didn't raise the funds we were seeking (not a single one of the cheapskate attendees purchased a single soda, wine, or beer even though we were charging a reasonable fifty-cents per beverage) but let me tell you something mister, once those ladies finished off their first (free) glass of ecstasy infused ice-waters, they were off to the races! There was no containing them. Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to begin the retelling.

So here's to you, Tammy Faye! I will never again be able to eat out of a garbage lid without thinking of you and your unwavering dedication to a purloined life of illusion.

15 comments:

Scott said...

god..now i'm hungry... Not to mention, I have a sudden urge to get a blue rinse and have my hair set. What's missing from that picture is the caption of the woman on the right saying "Bitch. I will cut you!"

Donna said...

LOL *trying to breath* LOL *deep sucking breath* LOL.

Debbie Downer said...

All I can say is OMG! I think you should start a campaign to bring bring the younger crowd to your building. Because these people have to start dying off at some point, right? This means there will be condos available! :)

Haveyouseenlucky said...

end of an era.

Chief Ninja Monkie said...

What a terribly active social life you have dear...

naechstehaltestelle said...

I have a sudden urge to eat dinner at 4:30 and postulate on the state of these kids and their rock and roll.

Beakerz said...

Erra.....I'm old and crabby, don't Fuck with my twelve cards. The game mattered WAY too much for those people. Meanwhile, those two can suck it anyway.

Guess I should post a reply about poker that night huh?

I'll try to get to it later today =)

Me and my Royal Straight Flush!

NoodleP said...

I LOVE Bingo and I definately would have bought a $.50 soda. ummm Famous Daves...

beamer said...

You've been meme'd!

Check here to get the rules/story/figure out how to waste time filling out your next post: http://thebea.blogspot.com/2007/07/just-cant-wash-off-that-meme.html

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