Friday, July 20

Adamant

Even for the avid and prolific blogger complainer, few events are so diabolical that they are worth complaining about nearly a year before they take place. These events include things like the destruction of Astroland, the birth of another Spederling, and WEDDINGS THAT TAKE PLACE ON THE OPPOSITE COAST ON THE FRIDAY NIGHT OF A THREE-DAY HOLIDAY WEEKEND.


Because I love my cousin very, very deeply (he's like the retarded little brother I never had), I intend to bite my tongue and not shatter his journey into the oblivious by informing him of how uncontrollably I will be sobbing during the entire $1600 return flight I'll be taking on my birthday Memorial Day, 2008. Oh well... maybe we'll get to take a real vacation in ...2009?
Good thing this plan to bite my tongue is, unlike family, not an obligation.

Just a reminder? Should anyone ever place a sparkly rock on my finger (stop your laughing right now, mom, you hear me??) and I instantly turn into a self-absorbed, inconsiderate harbinger of hate and tafeta, you are required to use the nearest tool, or your own hands need be, to immediately and permanently relieve me of oxygen.

7 comments:

Pop Cultured said...

good stuff...

i would include having a wedding on a Sunday during football season...it's just rude...

naechstehaltestelle said...

Dude, it's the perfect time to inflict all the pain on others that they have inflicted upon you. Have not only a wedding shower, but a bachelorette party, a second wedding shower just for close friends, a pre-wedding party, and require presents for all. Have it in some remote and expensive location, like Laos.

Beakerz said...

People are completely self-involved and self-centered for the most part. This is why I don't deal with most people anymore.

I have my own agenda and can't be bothered with other people's ;) lol

---these words have been kept to a PG level in respect of those individuals of which you speak as to not get myself in trouble through written word but you know my thoughts----

mineIsay said...

in the event you or I are ever that obnoxious, I am sure we will tell the other, violently, in front of the Bridezilla cameras.

HaveYouSeenLucky said...

I have a retarded cousin. He makes genuine corncob pipes. What does your cousin do?

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