Friday, May 4

Weird. You'd Think My Mom Would Know That I Don't Have Any Sisters... Oh. Wait. Now I Get It.

Favorite IMs of the week....


ImBatman: I couldn’t say pussy in front of you.




Beyer: hi. i'm fucking crazy. i know you guys are too, so we're down for damn near anything other than losing body parts and orgies. well, orgys can be negotiated if you look like brad pitt or a porn star la la la la la....


Bossman: Who do you have to blow to get on that blog list?!




ImBatman: fuck me with a fuck donkey cock up my shithole with a dripping cum filled shit




SurfZombie: time for revenge and none of this "the best revenge is living well" crap



Beyer: can they just kill me instead?




Beyer: you need intense therapy fulltime all summer



CanIgoHomeNow: i want her to be my Girlfren



OnlyMakesGirls: I hope Tattoo comes and visits all of your sinuses!



Beyer: imagine being in pre-flight for half of a lifetime



Chill: Lord hear my prayer. Please let my secretary Natalia be healthy. Once we confirm she is healthy, please confirm she is not pregnant. If we confirm she is pregnant, please let her be responsible and not let it effect work. If she is pregnant, and she keeps it Lord, please let her last for a few months, so we can get through the big hearing.



Beyer: are we done now? can our program go back to it's regularily scheduled shitty programming?



CanIgoHomeNow: i dunno..maybe i take string them up by their tits and throw dildoes at them



Delta: he loves all pictures of me eating. the boy has issues.



Beyer: i tried to make the "kill myself" into a jokie situation



CanIgoHomeNow: i might take moses for a spin up to the furniture stores. when he rolls down the road, the cars part like the Red Sea




CanIgoHomeNow: so corny it'd come out in your poop






Bossman: I can hardly wait. I feel the tingling in my fingers...wait...that is not my finger





Beyer: my coccyx hurts just thinking about it



CanIGoHomeNow: i get an email from a woman saying "I wanted to let you know of some training in your area... Philadelphia" .. Bitch, i'm nowhere near philadelphia. that would be like me telling you your nostril is in the area of your g-spot



FashionBackwards: he made an ass indicating he was well aware he needs to get his face moving




ImBatman:
i think to myself that the smiley face is the top of the tampon





CanIgoHomeNow: i want to use his face as a bicycle seat. was that outloud?





MtDew: ya know.. if I was B I think I would have given up by now. yeah.. I would be rocking back and forth foaming at the mouth in a straight jacket by now.



Beyer: Hi. I want you to cry and carry on and go to war and brainwash your children and start wars and blow people up just like the other people.




CanIGoHomeYet: i ain't goin' dahntahn n'at after i warsh and red up the hahse




ImBatman: Who's gonna ride your wild ....GOBLINS!!?






Delta: for just $4 a day, you too can help sponser a porn queen.




One: i actually think blue is a lovely color for testicles






BriansMom: Hi there! Brian tells me that you'd like to play a game of naked twister?




ImBatman: yes your exploding-ness!



CanIGoHomeNow: .why are those things called "Always"? shouldn't they be called "Sometimes"?






ImBatman: i thought ttfn was talk to you fucking nater





CanIGoHomeNow: did he put his hand around the base so that you don't get the whole thing?




Delta: but, it's a whole lot better than him farting, and expecting you to take that as a compliment




Bear: "Clothes on the floor? oh those? Those are the clothes i wore as I WHORED AROUND THE UNIVERSE. oh wait. that was You"





Fete: There is no I in Tyra Banks, but there sure is a lot of me




CanIGoHomeNow: figures... typical republican male, doesn't know when to pull out



Chill: It was the nickname of my deoderant rock I had from GNC named by L when we were going out.





NCRich: make you paint the house with a toothbrush



CanIGoHomeNow: dear god...you still have a smurf glass?



Mummy: good night my favorite daughter

3 comments:

Deatoni said...

H..h..how many smurf glasses do you have?!? Willing to part with any of them for a modest price? No vanity's please.

Scott said...

someone needs to fix the extra line breaks...

... and someone else (me) needs more friends to talk to during the day...

I guess I was a bit sassy this week...

DaGince said...

Hey Deat..I got like 100 smurfs from way back when...I think I may have just shared to much...(call me)