In honor of good old BAS, I present to you a sampling of signs that can be found posted around my office and in keeping with the impetus behind national Blog Against Sexism day, these signs clearly reflect that stupidity knows no gender.
First we have the signage posted around the office water cooler. The sign on the right reads:
"Water is for WaterClub members ONLY!!! Cost is $6/mth. See Pam if interested in joining".
Included amongst the unnecessary capitol letters and extraneous exclamation points is a whimsical clip art of a wallet, which is likely an attempt to keep the implied extortion in exchange for natures most abundant resource as lighthearted as possible.
The chart on the left indicates who has paid their water bill and who has not. Once you have committed to the ranks of "The WaterClub" and failed to pay the liquid levy, your name appears on this chart, highlighted in yellow, for all to see. Both of these signs are displayed prominently in the small office kitchen. The sign with the chart also encourages all patrons of the office kitchen, whether they are on the list or not, to confront and thwart any ne'er-do-wells and beverage burglars if discovered partaking in the forbidden hydration without authorization.
This series of signage provides not only a wealth of shame and embarrassment for both the outright prohibited would-be water drinkers and those who have been unable to fork over their oppressive monthly water dues since August of 2005, but also gives me something to cackle about when I'm the last one left at the office at night and gleefully weazing the forbidden juice.
This next sign was found in the ladies room, wedged in the door of a stall, and helpfully indicates that a particular toilet is not functioning correctly. Now I don't know about you but I cant imagine being so self-involved as to sign an out of order napkin with my name. Is personal credit really necessary in such situations? What exactly is it that you are taking credit for, here?
Whats next? Autographed tampons? Diaper dioramas?
Last, but certainly not least, is a photo of a sign posted over the office utility sink. The instruction found in the first line ("turn the faucet off") reminds me of an old Seinfeld stand up routine where he wonders aloud why the faucets in public bathrooms only allow you a few seconds of water before you have to soap-handedly mash the button again.
It also reminds me how stupid people are due to the actual need for a reminder to, before departing, turn off a sink which you have turned on. It additionally serves as a gentle preparation for the line that follows...