I'm pretty disgusted with all of you right now.
Based on the near-blackness of his teeth, we've suspected for some time now that kitty was going to need to get some dental work done. Yeah, we figured that out all by ourselves, we did.
Overprotective and incredibly uncomfortable with the concept of the vet putting him under (which apparently is a necessity regardless of how timid and awesome a kitty is) to have his teeth cleaned, we purposely waited until he was officially "geriatric" to get the work done so that they'd run a slew of liver and kidney blood work before putting him under. No idea why they won't run these tests on cats under 8 but they just won't. At least it gave me the opportunity to use "slew".
B had the day off, thanks to the blizzard of '07, giving him the opportunity to pace around the veterinarian's waiting room like an expectant father while I waited not-so-patiently at work for the phone to ring with feline-related news. I got very little work done, even by my standards (unless fretting relentlessly counts) and really should have been under the blankets at home under heavy sedation myself.
I'll put an end to the suspense right now and tell you that everything worked out just fine. Jake is "very healthy" with clean teeth, ears, paws, and rectum. Wait-- what? I thought he was just going in to have his teeth cleaned? What's all this extraneous hoohah here on my bill?:
- Nail Trimming -- $88.13
- Ear Cleaning -- $147.38
- Ear Cytology -- $47.47
- Ear Packing -- $47.92
- Ear Meds -- $34.80
- Oral Rinse -- $24.16
- Cepa Antibiotic -- $37.22
- Anal bleaching -- $140
Wtf? An already outrageously expensive procedure performed on our little dearest fuzzy more than doubled in anticipated price due to procedures that we did not approve and more drugs than Tara Reid can identify? So very uncool! Where the hell did they get those numbers anyway? "$47.47"? The fuck kind of procedure costs $47.47? What happened to good old rounded off dollar amounts?? That's gotta be the bullshittiest bullshit charge I've ever seen. I can almost hear the lab techs sitting around giggling when they punched that one into the computer!
Besides the fact that we didn't want anything done to his ears let alone four things with randomly assciated costs, what's this $88.13 for nail clipping bullshit? I've clipped his nails every month for the last 94 just fine and without sedation thank you very much, and know damn well that while it's no roll at a rave it's certainly not $88.13 worth of work.
I'm disgusted. Thoroughly disgusted that they've milked us for money in our time of need and concern.
And yes, I was kidding about the anal bleaching.
The vet's office wouldn't release Jake to us until the gigantic bill was paid so B had to charm them a bit. After almost an hour of negotiating and claiming kitty welfare, he managed to wrangle the bill down to nearly where it should have been and Jakers was sprung. 30% discount for pet dental month, my aunt Vagine.
When all is said and done, Jakers is home and safe and warm. He's not particularly pleased with us (can't say that I am either) and may not come out from under the bed for some time, but at least he won't be chewing his crunchies like he has a crow jammed in his craw. And that's what really matters. I just hate how it seems that everywhere I look is reminder that every industry is, at it's core, a thinly veiled scam or a cold, heartless business.