Wednesday, January 17

Missing: The Girlie Gene


I lack the gene that enables one to differentiate between pink and salmon. I tell you this not only to explain the color of my kitchen, but also to provide you with some insight so that perhaps you will think my next question to be a little less odd.

Mind you, I can throw a football in a perfect spiral, tie a cherry stem with my tongue (may have even won a contest for doing so, once upon a time *ahem*) and well hell I can't think of anything else that I'm particularly good at right now but I'm sure there's something. Might even be several somethings. I assure you that none of those somethings, however, include a use for pink ribbons, fashion, dancing (ok, fine, walking too) in heels, or squealing with glee when the stairmaster is free.

Point being, I'm definitely lacking the girlie gene.

I've lived a fine life without a girlie gene thusfar, I just need a little help here and there with the girlie essentials. Like applying lip liner, knowing which celebs are gay, and knowing what you gals who work out all the time do about washing your hair. Moreso-- if you sweat it up at the gym and wash your hair everyday, doesn't that make your locks into a frazzled disaster nest? What if you're sweating it up twice a day?? Are my options either to spend twice as much time under the much-despised hairdryer inferno and twice as much cash on product and salons, or to be forever sweatygross about the scalp? Please say like, no.

Any input appreciated. My follicles and the people who have to smell me thank you.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

No need to wash with shampoo every day. That's bad for almost all types of hair. When you get super sweaty, just rinse your head, that's more than sufficient. If you did something where you didn't really work up a sweat, just skip the shampooing/rinsing.

I can't help you with the lip liner but my gay-dar is first rate.

Scott said...

S'ok sweetie...I can't throw a football. Though, I can tie the cherry stem...and it landed me my first man, so I guess that's something.

Lori said...

see I wash my hair every day.. cuz I have a rats nest upon my head. I've left with very little option...

But while I'm no help to you.. maybe you can be of help to me... you enhance your hair color correct? I think it's time for me to start 'enhancing' mine too... When we do lunch/dinner we'll have to talk about this some more. heh

I too seriously lack that 'girly' gene.

Anonymous said...

you can rinse it at night without shampooing - who cares what it looks like when you go to bed. shampoo every other day and condition daily.

Ashburnite said...

see...I'm am such a ridiculously girly girl. It's actually sad. My favorite color is even pink. I can apply lipliner and walk, dance, and even sometimes run in heels. One thing I've never mastered tho- eyeliner. I think it's because my eyes are super-sensitive; or maybe because I look like crap with it on (light hair, light eyes, light skin).

Oh, the shampooing thing- I have to shampoo every day; but that's because my hair is really fine, I have a lot of it, and I'm constantly messing with it (putting it up in a ponytail, then taking it out 10 minutes later, then putting it back up...). If I don't wash it every day, it looks greasy. But I don't blow-dry very often. I wash it at night, let it air dry, put it in a bun at bedtime, leave it up during my morning shower, then just blow dry for a a minute or so- just to straighten it.

Wow, that was a mouthful. Hope that helped.

Anonymous said...

Yes I too lack the girlie gene... maybe that is because I grew up in a barn with horses who had to have perfect manes and tails, or maybe it was because I refused to go to Neiman Marcus with my mother and went to Dead shows instead, or maybe even because I would not shell out the $$ for Cosmo... but at any hoodle...

I would shampoo and condition it in the morning. At night when you work out - who is going to see you? Right - and we love you regaurdless if you have sweat head or not.

Anonymous said...

Yes I too lack the girlie gene... maybe that is because I grew up in a barn with horses who had to have perfect manes and tails, or maybe it was because I refused to go to Neiman Marcus with my mother and went to Dead shows instead, or maybe even because I would not shell out the $$ for Cosmo... but at any hoodle...

I would shampoo and condition it in the morning. At night when you work out - who is going to see you? Right - and we love you regaurdless if you have sweat head or not.

honeykbee said...

Jamy: I thought my gardar was dead on, too. Until... well, you know.

Anyway, here's the thing: I despise the hairdryer. Left to dry on its own accord my hair will simply not do so. It is so thick that it will stay perpetually wet. Trust that I have tried to forgo the hairdryer on ginumerous occasions to no avail. Go to bed with wet head = wake with wet mangled head. (Please ignore DYKPC: my best friend doesn't even own a hairdryer. Her hair dries between streams in the shower).

Even if I don't use shampoo (just rinse) multiple times a day, isn't all that drying (besides heinously annoying) bad for my hair ?

Again my options seem to be sweatygross or fried hair. Ugh.


Scott: I'll teach you how to properly throw a football in exchage for a lesson on how to land a proper man... ;)

Ashburnite: I'll show you how to apply eyeliner in exchange for a heel lesson...

Lori: We definitely need to have meal. Bring the little one --she owes me a dance.

Anonymous said...

well, the only advice I can really offer with the heels is this: just pretend they don't hurt. Eventually, your feel will be so mis-formed from them that they will actually feel comfortable. I can't even wear flats anymore.

now, the balance thing is something totally different. It took me forever to master that in stillettos

Madame M said...

Okay-- maybe my hair is oilier, but just rinsing hair makes it smell pretty gross, as I recall.

I have a couple of tips for you:

1. Deep-condition at least once a week. Make those hot oil VO5 things your friend.
2. There is this great product by Stila called "hair refresher" which absorbs the oil and sweat and leaves a nice fragrance behind. I'm sure there have to be knockoffs out there, but here is a link: http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P75334
3. Buy yourself a superabsorbent towel. That way, whatever you decide to do, you won't drip dry as long.

Hope any of that helped.

Scott said...

Oh.. I don't think I've ever had a "proper" man. I've had: Hot, Ugly, Wealthy, Cheap, Clean, Stinky, Hairy, Smooth, Horny, Frigid, Lying, Honest, Boring, Exciting, but never Proper.

Anonymous said...

I tend to work out at night so I wash my hair and condition and just tie it up at the base of my neck. In the morning I might have to wet the front and then I dry it which takes no time and is healthier for the hair.
That took me forever to learn. I don't wear lipstick or lip gloss because my hair keeps getting stuck to it. I always wear chapstick.
I was 27 before I ever plucked my eyebrows. I'm behind on the girlie stuff too so I'll be chacking back for tips

zandria said...

You're not the only one who is missing the so-called "girlie gene." Who would want to mess with all that? And whoever made that comment about just rinsing with water, and not using shampoo/conditioner...obviously does not have long hair. If I tried to put water on my (naturally straight!) hair, it would become a big, tangled mess. That's why I can justify the times I work out as being on the days I take a shower (every-other-day).

Anonymous said...

Oh the hairdryer is the worst.

Other instruments of torture: eyelash curler, hair straightener, and the best bra I own.

Sigh

Anonymous said...

I'm cracking up - didn't know you posted this the other day! So you DO understand!

I actually did start drying my hair and using product recently. I admit, it looks nice. But what a pain!

jen said...

see, you are mistaken in thinking that there is just one girly gene. there are actually a number of girly genes. it's too restrictive to either be girly or not-girly. i'm not stereotypically girly either but i embrace the girly genes i do have.

some girly genes i don't have: hairdrying skills, interest in makeup, patience for uncomfortable shoes

some girly genes i'm proud to have: pink obsession, natural flirtatiousness, craftyness (as in knitting and sewing)