Monday, December 11

Hail to the Asshats



We prepped for the Redskins game as any practiced participant would on a mild North East December afternoon; each of us wearing three concentric layers of sweatpants, four layers of shirts under our giant, poufy down jackets, and as many socks as we could pile on our feet while still being able to fit into our bloated sneakers.


For no good reason, it wasn't the usual 30 degress (and 10 fewer on the field) outside but itstead it was 60 degrees yesterday --
serving as a meterological slap to our winter-prepared faces. So, by the time we weebled from the parking lot to our seats we were both pretty sweaty and peeved. Good thing we got an early jump on being irritated because for the majority of the game, this afro asshat is all I could see:



  • Ratio of Eagles fans to Redskins fans in the Skins season ticket holders section? 4:1. (Wtf?!)
  • Percentage of Eagles fans who incorrectly spelled "Eagles" while chanting "E-A-G-L-E-S": 44.
  • Bloody fights witnessed? Only 3.
  • Minutes it took to find our car in the parking lot at the end of the game?: 64.
  • A seemingly endless supply of angry, drunken, mulleted 12 year olds?: Priceless.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Asshat" is the best word of the century, btw. :)

Brunch Bird said...

This confirms my suspicion that going to a Redskins game is best done, um, never.

dwb said...

"...and we at bud lite hail you, mr. giant asshat afro maker.."

DaGince said...

Is there a correlation to ass hats and poor spellers I wonder...

Freewheel said...

Are you sure that's not his actual hair?

Carrie M said...

i noticed a lot of eagles fan in the stands, on TV. what a waste of a season.

Needtsza said...

The funny thing is, he's bald underneath.

Anonymous said...

how could you even watch the game? i wouldn't be able to take my eyes off the mop top.

ss said...

that's just code for you wanting to wear his ass as a hat

Brian said...

That's the most pitiful way I've ever seen to celebrate your team. Well, second most, besides that dude who wears a bucket in Denver.

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