Elastic Waistband? Is That a Challenge??

During this time of great change and abundance in my life, I am left with but one pivotal question: Just how many pairs of sweatpants does one person need?

Surrounded by all of my belongings entombed in cardboard, and during the unpacking that will, judging by an entire 10x10' room stacked floor to ceiling with boxes boxes boxes, take me well into 2008, it occurs to me that they, the beloved sweatpant, in all their fuzzy greyness and constantly forgiving elastic waistbands may in fact be the root of all evil.

I feel as though a new light has shone on me this day to reveal the suspicious motives ulterior to comforting warmth and gymbag convenience that sweatpants provide. Beware! For they are not what they present themselves to be, and may be decieving you as well.

This message brought to you by the I-don't-have-a-fridge Association of America with a grant provided by Drake's Devil Dogs.