There was a time when Instant Messenger was more dear to me than hemoglobin. Over a ten year period, I was offline for perhaps a total of an hour and a half. Being in instant contact with everyone I've ever known brought great comfort and joy to my life. I miss Instant Messenger more than I miss Lenny Briscoe.
Boy, is my job great or what?
Oh hey, did I mention that my boss called a meeting today just to scream at me? Yeah, it was waaaaay cool. Especially the part where her head spun completely around and thick clouds of smoke shot out of her ears. It was like a scary Adult Swim cartoon pilot. Robot Nutjob Chicken or some shit. She was royally irritated this time, and rightfully so-- I wasn't at my desk "all day yesterday". While I'm admittedly guilty as charged, I remain amazed by the fireworks since she is the very nutbag who sent me to 6 separate trainings all day long yesterday!
I mean, who else could attend? NO ONE! Know why? Because I was the only moron in my office who opted to tackle the 5+ hours of commuting in order to make it to work during the Great DC deluge of 2006! The metro is shut down, there's a mudslide on the beltway, bridges closed, houses condemned and power's out... But! Naught rain, nor mud, nor wireless internet deprivation shall keep Bee from her duties!
Lesson learned? I'll say. Clearly, I'm the idiot.
In the end, in her infinite wisdom, Dragon Chicken Nutbag has declared that if I'm not at my desk "for 8 hours each day through Friday", I will "not be allowed to take scheduled leave on Monday". Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy is this about to get interesting! I can hardly wait! In fact, I may even call in sick tomorrow ! ! !
Here's a sampling of the insanity (the good kind) that keeps me keepin' on:
needtsza: Chinese, that's the 5th food group
Darkness: how i love and hate the women
ScottDuhamel: i hope she swallows it and it gets caught in her system then rips her bowels to shreds
DWB: i said something about SEC compliance issues on a deal and i think he sported wood.
Clark: oh man i really hope the makeup lady is there on sunday
Clark: oh man i really hope that wont be my new nickname
DWB: wow, you can im like your stonesd too
Satan: jennifer lopez onion ass black
GREENIE: hes great..... his first words are GGGGAAAAAA... and Bawwwwwwwww
MUMMY: No, fraggle rock is not the rock I was referring to
needtsza: you smackith me hand, you dealith the remote
SATAN: are you wearing a perpetual princess hat?
Bee: it starts with a c
LALA: you mean like sticking your head in the bathtub and blowing bubbles together?
Bear: can't concentrate with this and boobs
Bebe: my boyfriend just asked me to go to dsw with him - i have the best relationship ever.
ScottDuhamel: omg.. i just cut myself on a banana