I can't believe it's Monday again already. Four long, belabored, seemingly endless days blanket my horizons with a joyless abyss of commuter traffic and elliptical training. And all I can do is count the minutes until Vegas, pretend the animal crackers in my desk drawer are not singing my name in unison, and avoid looking at the clock. Also, not that easy. Boy is it ever one of those days.
Blogger.com has PMS and isn't playing well with others. So you'll just have to conjure your own image of the giant sack of (singing) animal crackers that I was going to post on the left. Imagine at will.
I'm told it's hitting about 85 degrees outside today, here in our nation's capitol. I may even conjure up the energy to check it out for myself, but that's unlikely.
So... anyone know any decent jokes?
2 comments:
a. how did you put that 'link to this point' thing on?
b. why is it on?
c. THIS is where you shared that it is 85 degrees, not on my phone as I suspected you had not
d. unless my phone sucks as usual and i didn't get it.
e. Verizon store later or tommorrow. Bee there
ok - here are some ok jokes...
Holy Water
Jerry, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. Now, all of Jerry's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Jerry, and suggested that Jerry convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Jerry attended Mass... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over Jerry, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."
Jerry's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Jerry's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold Jerry, he stopped in amazement and watched. There stood Jerry, clutching a small bottle of water, which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You were born a deer, and raised a deer, but now you are a catfish."
Some smiles for women:
1. I don't skinny dip - I chunky dunk.
2. Dear IRS - I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove me from your list.
3. I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
4. I am not 40 something. I am 39.95 plus shipping and handling.
5. I don't have hot flashes. I have short, private vacations in the tropics.
6. A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.
7. I have PMS and ESP That makes me the bitch who knows everything.
ok - so they are not that funny...
But here you go:
https://home.comcast.net/~jfmelnick/fruitcakelady.wmv
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