Monday, October 3

Submitted for Your Approval

If you consult your "Little Known Bee Facts Handbook" and refer to the second bullet item on page 16, you will learn that I have three nephews. They are very blonde, very little, and very adorable. In a brilliant marketing move perpetuated by their mother, the three of them (combined) are now personal provisioners of the natural energy which powers a good portion of Vermont. While admittedly not one of the larger states, let me assure you that an hour in the basement with the nephews will leave an individual tired, beaten, and sore for days. Yet still smiling.

It went like this-- The boys were over for the first time this weekend (the deets on that story is a whooooooole other story). After spoiling them with gifts of kites, compasses, and neat little LED flashlights, my dad and I began a tour of the house. The boys were mostly quiet and probably a good bit scared by the whole scene. We walked down to the basement and their wide eyes demonstrated how brave they were being as they descended into the unknown. On the way down, my dad turned off the light and said "oooh, its dark! Does anyone have a flashlight?!", and three little blonde voices shouted "I do!" in unison as three little LED flashlight circles pierced the darkness. I mean, could you just die from a cute overdose or what?!

Down in the basement, Dad proceeded to show the eldest how to use (read: turn on) the treadmill and the little ones how to operate the pinball machine (circa 1918) before exiting said basement. I was then alone. With three little blonde boys. Three little adorable blonde boys, a treadmill, and a pinball machine. Oh, and the kitty poop box. Complete and utter chaos then erupted. And to think, before this moment, I didn't even know that kitty litter was edible! Nor was I aware that my parents kept a fishing rod, outfitted with a large, three-pronged hook, right out in the grabbable open!

The hour that followed is pretty much a blur. I recall some screaming but that could have been any of us. Somehow, eventually, I was able to rally and tucked 1.5 boys under each arm and headed for the stairs. I found my father at the top. Purple with laughter.

Happy new year!


dwb said...

i don't remember having any kids - this is a really strange entry, you feeling okay?

by the way, who where those little shits at mom and dad's house last weekend? the ones eating the kittie litter?

Anonymous said...

ok, now that there are pictures i'll comment! So cute and I'm glad the lesson came to us pre-conception! Eating kitty litter, ewww. did they go for a second taste, because if they did, that's just disturbing.