Saturday, August 13

"Goodbye Everybody! Don't Touch Any of my Stuff After I'm dead"

Today was one of those rare days where it was 3pm before I knew it. I had blasted out one of the three systems I need to finish this week. Way ahead of schedule, I was feeling pretty good when we got dressed to go play racquetball around 5. But then Brian said something innocuous that irritated me and my mood spiraled rapidly out of control. We played one sorry game of racquetball then I left to go to Target. Ever notice how your mood can dictate your life?

Actually got a decent parking spot and into only one minor altercation with a fellow Tar-jay shopper. This, as you may know of me by now, is nearly a record, regardless of mood. Not my fault people don't know how to drive. Or walk. I then went to Giant and loaded the car with groceries. "Beep beep", chimed the car, as we exited the grocery store parking lot, $100 worth of fridge and freezer fillings aboard. "Beep beep, Check Charging System", the batmobile whined. It's always whining. Stupid car. This is why I'm gettig rid of you. This and the no airconditioning and no heat thing. It's always beeping about something. Low fluid, low fuel, low self-esteem. Too much air, too much fuel, wah wah wah. It then beeped one more time... one sorry little beep... before it died. Leaving me stranded with no lights and no power in the middle of Sam Eig Highway. But at least I had 2 gallons of ice cream. Cause, you know, if you're going to be trapped in DC in the summer, it's best have tubs of ice cream.

Brian came and saved me (from both oncoming traffic and an assured angioplasty) even though I've been a raging bitch to him for no reason for like the last 30 hours. He jumped the car three times just to get it home (a total distance of about 3/4 of a mile) which required some interesting feats of driving. I then borrowed his car and scored a battery at Advanced Auto, just as they were closing. Car dude behind the counter even hit on me. Oh yeah... still got it. Giggity.

Back at the ranch, B and I fought with the new battery for a good bit then decided it was corroded beyond our expertise. I called AAA (threw the cordless, the blackberry, and then my cell, as each refused to cooperate with this seemingly simple task) and was told by the ambiguously snotty AAA lady that they could jump me or tow me, but offered NO battery service. I was surprised, and thanked the stupid bitch lady as I hung up. Thinking, weird, AAA has no battery service? Why the hell do I pay them!? Simply out of ideas, I called AAA back. I intented to beg and/or connive. Or maybe get towed? I was placed on hold and spent the next 8 minutes listening to an incredibly jolly pre-recorded message detailing the many benefits of their emergency battery service.
UPDATE: (a.k.a, Customer Service Is Dead. Long Live Eternal Damnation.)

Stardate 11:17pm

AAA sucks it.

Two and a half hours later the AAA guy finally shows up. He has "battery service" splashed across his truck. In very large letters. In three separate places. Yet he can provide no battery service. NO BATTERY SERVICE. He was very apologetic. Told us to call AAA. Which we did. The AAA lady said to call back in the morning (5:30a) for battery service.

I lost my shit on the lady then Brian took the phone away from me.

Fucking bite me, AAA. Please take your flaming place in eternal damnation next to Comcast, Best Buy, and Nissan Pavillion. Fucking fuckers.

2 comments:

Dulcinea said...

Would that be regular Roadside Assistance or RA Plus? (*ducking*) Seriously, though, you win! (Is it wrong to laugh at your posts when you're clearly in distress?)

Scott said...

::hugs:: I think we need to start a business. Robyn, you can back me on this a couple of years ago we thought of this. We start a business where we just call places to bitch at them for people to see if they finally do their job right.