Wednesday, October 28

King Wesparkinhood

Things about which I wonder:
  • What happened to Cary Elwes? And I don't even mean the botched plastic surgery, I mean how did he go from being the romantic "As You Wish" handsome movie lead slash savior of the Princess to being an extra on Psych? Not even an extra that makes you go, "oooh! Look! It's him! The dude from the Princess Bride! I just love the way saying his name feels... Cary Elwes... Cary Elwes..."! But more like, "wait, is that him? Whatshisface from the movie with Andre the Giant? No, I think it is. Really. Look! You don't think so? Okay, I'll look him up on IMDB".
    How does that happen... without drugs?
  • How did this guy make it through the focus groups? Maybe they were mesmerized by his fuzzy black sweater?
  • Who exactly is being turned on by these Match.com commercials? I find the one where the dude proclaims his love for cheeseburgers, taps his hat and swishes around, then mashes a Hostess cupcake into his mouth to be particularly disturbing. I'm no vegan and have surely torn into more than my share of sub-par cupcakes, but come on, no one needs to see that.

  • What gender is the Snuggle teddy bear? Are we talking cling-free sheets or dryer balls here?

That's it for now. I need to go wonder about some spreadsheets.




1 comment:

Deatoni said...

Cary starred in a movie with Charlie Sheen, told himself "THIS makes more than me????" and proceeded to hostess coma-cupcake himself for the next 10 years.