Rentally Retarded

We visited Mt. Garagemore yesterday for the big game and somewhere between the mob of deer on the front lawn and the third pastarific Kitchen-Aid attachment, it occurred to me that we are officially rentally retarded.

Before you get all uppity, I assure you that we fit the bill; below please behold the Websters' definition of retarded:

re·tard
v. re·tard·ed, re·tard·ing, re·tards v. tr.
To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede.
v. intr. To be delayed.
n. 1. A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.
2. Not owning a house, condo, or other form of property by your 30th birthday.
Music A slackening of tempo.

Currently I find myself suffering from the post football season blues and an overall slackening of tempo compounded by severe kitchen accessory and house envy. These conditions exist with triple shot venti mocha impunity. Also, I’m beginning to wonder if it was wise to place this on my desk:

So all day long, when not playing with my Boggle calendar, I am looking at Andy’s coconuts.

They seem to follow the eyes wherever they go. *tilting head*