Die(t)

You know the drill and there's no getting around it; calories in greater than calories out = big fat ass.

Unless you've been blessed with some ridiculous metabolism that, honestly, I just don't want to hear about. In fact, I'd prefer if you took your sob story and overactive metabolism elsewhere and not return to my blog. Yeah yeah, poor you.

Personally, I've found that calories in + yoga and/or racquetball + occasional devil dog = slightly less big fat ass. And all was well. Until my yoga instructor went MIA.

Marilyn, though the odds of you being out there are slim to none (and slim' s been eating more than the occasional devil dog for 29.9 years) please for the sake of all things chocolate and delicious, please PLEASE get your class together again. I'll say it if you insist. Marilyn, I need you. I seriously, seriously need you. There, I've posted it electronically for all the world to see.

This Bikram yoga I did today was for the birds. Hot, sweaty, dripping, absolutely disgusting birds. It wasn't like working out in a sauna... it was working out in a sauna! 105 degrees! I can't believe I paid for that. And no I'm not kidding! I'd rather Tammy stick me with needles again.

Although... judging by my absolutely ravishing saunamates (the largest of which had a foot on me and I outweighed by 80 lbs, easily) one really can't deny the effects of dehydration yoga (patent pending). I sloshed on home and peeled off my sopping attire (oh trust me, it was grosser for me) there was a definite and immediate noticable difference in generalized pudginess!

You know how you work out and work out and work out and never see a big difference (if not, please consider yourself and your friend, the metabolizer, unwelcome here)? Well, if an immediate difference is what you're after, I suggest hot "Bikram" yoga. Or bangs. As long as you can also afford a lot of therapy.

Working out in a 105 degree room. Um, yeah, pretty sure I'm not doing that again without an enlistment bonus.

Now go on and google "melanocortin 1". You know you want to. Go on, git.