Thursday, March 24

Hootie's Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I'm experiencing some considerable concerns regarding dietary options while out on the road. Besides the absence of racquetball and yoga, it seems that I best get used to eating pizza that looks like this:

(it actually presents pretty well on film, it looks worse the closer it gets to your mouth).

The chinese place wouldn't deliver to the hotel (for less than $30) thereby leaving carless me with no other food option besides more pizza. Couldn't even get to a Burger King... and that Hootie commercial (the tendercrisp bacon cheddar ranch, the tendercrisp bacon cheddar ranch) was haunting me. Since I had already sworn off NH pizza I was in quite a pickle. Mmmm... pickle. Pickle would have been nice. So, where was I? Right, I went to the front desk around 8pm, when I couldn't take the Hootie anymore, and asked for menus. The chick at the desk was really sweet and told me which places to avoid. She gave me 9 different menus; 8 "Italian" places and the snooty chinese place. *sigh*
Over and over I paroused the endless lists of toppings and "Fantastic" fried sides. I decided on a calzone. Figured, how bad could that be. I was happy to even see the word "calzone". It had to be better than "Ferrari's Famous Fabulous Fried Side Salad", right? I mean, what the hell is that?!

The following is how a calzone presents itself in NH:


It was a learning experience. A gross, greasy, learning experience. I will be writing a letter to this so-called Italian place. I may even send them recipes. For calzones and salads.

Other items of concern follow (as if you were expecting happy, light-hearted hoohah).

Risked life and possibly limb capturing the following picture on the plane. The exit sign near the ceiling indicates that the exit is to the left, and the salida is to the right. Does this seem like segregation to anyone else?! (I mean, there's not even a door on the right. That's gotta be some flagrant new-fangled flavor of discrimination. No?)





Looks like a bomb went off at Dulles.

Maybe they're building another wing 5.5 miles away and accessible only by boat?

4 comments:

Achillies said...

That pic of the pizza thats probely what my colen looks like...

honeykbee said...

Crazy. I thought this is what a colen looked like? ;

Scott said...

Colen? What's a Colen? ;'s a Semicolon.

honeykbee said...

You're probely right.